Thoughts

I Don’t Have Time For This
When Cancer Crashes Into Your Already Overloaded Life Let’s be honest. There’s never a good time to get a cancer diagnosis. There’s not an empty Tuesday on the calendar labeled “Perfect Day to Battle for My Life.” Whether you’re a CEO, a stay-at-home chaos coordinator, a road-tripping retiree, or anything in between—cancer doesn’t send a polite message asking if now’s a good time. It just shows up, uninvited, with all its messy baggage. And your first thought? I do not have time for this. That truly was what I told my doctor when she gave me the diagnosis. She gave me a look that said “Make time.” But here’s the deal: you get to do this on your own terms. Not cancer’s. Not your doctor’s. Not anyone’s. Just you. Well, OK, maybe your loved ones get to chime in. Emotional Whiplash? Oh Yeah. Getting the “C” bomb dropped in your lap feels like you got shoved into an emotional blender.

Navigating the Holidays with Cancer
The holiday season is a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. However, for those dealing with cancer, it can also bring unique challenges and emotions. Whether you’re a Warrior yourself or a Tribe member supporting someone on this journey, it’s important to find ways to embrace the season while honoring your feelings and needs. For those facing fatigue, pain, or the weight of an uncertain future, the idea of “celebrating” can feel overwhelming or even hollow. Holidays may carry a bittersweet significance, particularly if you’re navigating what could be a final season together. It’s okay to redefine celebration on your own terms—whether that means quiet moments of connection, simplified traditions, or simply allowing yourself to rest and reflect. Embrace Your Emotions The holidays can stir a mix of emotions, from joy and gratitude to sadness and anxiety. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up without judgment. It’s okay to have moments of vulnerability. Remember, you’re not alone—many others share similar

Living Life Beyond Cancer: Embracing and Living Life
Hello, dear Warriors, Tribe members, and supporters, I hope this message finds you in good spirits. As many of you know, our journey together has been filled with ups and downs, moments of strength, and times of vulnerability. Today, I want to share a personal update and a reminder of the power of living life beyond the confines of cancer. Recently, I’ve been less active in our community, including in our Facebook Group. It’s not because I’ve forgotten about our incredible community or the mission we’re all so passionate about. Instead, it’s because I’ve been busy embracing life—truly living it to the fullest. And let me tell you, it’s been an invigorating experience! And yes, that’s me on the far right in the photo. I was recently the Show Chair for the National Beagle Club of America’s 2024 National Show. Ten days in Tennessee at the show, and tons of work prior to…and after! A full-time job for a while,

What Not to Say (and How to Avoid the Awkward Elephant in the Room)
Navigating conversations with someone dealing with cancer can feel like walking a tightrope in a circus—one wrong step, and you might find yourself in the lion’s den. But fear not! With a little guidance, you can become a conversational acrobat, offering support without stepping on any toes. In this post, we’ll explore some common phrases that might earn you a spot in the “oops” tent, and offer more thoughtful alternatives that will have you juggling empathy and humor like a pro. Many times, people simply don’t say anything at all, for fear of saying the wrong thing or upsetting someone. Unfortunately, cancer is the elephant in the room and ignoring it can appear that someone simply doesn’t care about what’s happening. It’s better to say something – anything! – rather than appear unfeeling. What Not to Say “Do you still have that cancer thing?” Someone actually did ask me this! When I said “Yes” he was at a loss on

You Are NOT Your Diagnosis
“The thyroid cancer is in room 4.” That’s how the staff indicated what room I was in during a checkup. I politely went out and said something along the lines of, “I understand HIPPA. However, I am NOT just someone with thyroid cancer. I’m so much more.” The staff apologized – but I’m sure as soon as I was gone, they reverted back to announcing who was where, based simply on their diagnosis. A Diagnosis Does Not Define Who We Are What happened in that doctor’s office isn’t unique to me—it’s a common occurrence for those navigating serious illnesses. Medical environments often streamline communication by referring to people based on their conditions: “the breast cancer in room 5,” “the diabetic patient waiting,” or “the heart failure in the ER.” (Yikes!) It may seem like a convenient shorthand for busy professionals, but this constant reduction of individuals to their diagnoses chips away at a fundamental truth: We are so much more

Five Ways to Support Friends and Family on Their Cancer Journey
When someone we care about is diagnosed with cancer, it can be overwhelming to know how to help. We don’t know what to say because we don’t want to make things worse or say the wrong thing. We also want to act like things are “normal” – when they can be far from it. Often, we just say “Tell me when you need something.” From the cancer Warrior’s perspective, we often have no idea what to ask for – and we don’t want to bother others or seem like we’re whining. So, nothing gets done or said. Here are five specific ways friends, family, and co-workers can provide meaningful support during this challenging time. Organize a Food/Meal Drive One of the most practical ways to support someone with cancer is by organizing a food or meal drive. Treatment schedules can be grueling, leaving little energy for cooking. Creating a meal schedule where friends and family sign up to provide meals

The Loneliness of the Cancer Journey
Cancer is a journey that no one anticipates taking. It’s a path fraught with physical challenges, emotional upheavals, and a profound sense of isolation. Despite being surrounded by loved ones, friends, and healthcare professionals, we often feel very alone. There are several reasons for this, including our reluctance to seek support, the fear of being a burden, and the misconception that we must face this journey independently. And let’s face it – we’re scared that if we ask, we’ll be told “No” or worse, ignored. The Silent Struggle One of the most significant reasons we feel alone is our reluctance to share our struggles. Society values resilience and stoicism, leading us to believe that expressing vulnerability is complaining. This belief makes it difficult to reach out, even when the need for support is paramount. The fear of being labeled as “whining” or “complaining” can silence us, leading to self-imposed isolation. The Burden of Asking We often avoid seeking help because

Exploring the Parallels Between Cancer and the Five Stages of Grief
When we hear the word “cancer,” we usually think of the physical battle – surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation – but what about the hidden struggles that come with it? Beyond the visible scars and hair loss lies a world of challenges that often go unnoticed. Chronic pain, fatigue, and depression are just a few of the issues that plague those battling cancer, making every day a fight on multiple fronts. Unfortunately, many of these unseen issues can go on for many years after the initial diagnosis. Because these may be long-term issues, cancer Warriors get very good at hiding them from others. They don’t want to be a burden, so they suffer in silence – often to the detriment of their physical and mental health. They get very good at pasting on a fake smile and hiding their pain. So, what are some of these issues and how can you support someone who is dealing with them?

The Hidden Struggles of Cancer
When we hear the word “cancer,” we usually think of the physical battle – surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation – but what about the hidden struggles that come with it? Beyond the visible scars and hair loss lies a world of challenges that often go unnoticed. Chronic pain, fatigue, and depression are just a few of the issues that plague those battling cancer, making every day a fight on multiple fronts. Unfortunately, many of these unseen issues can go on for many years after the initial diagnosis. Because these may be long-term issues, cancer Warriors get very good at hiding them from others. They don’t want to be a burden, so they suffer in silence – often to the detriment of their physical and mental health. They get very good at pasting on a fake smile and hiding their pain. So, what are some of these issues and how can you support someone who is dealing with them?