Thoughts

Hello, dear Warriors, Tribe members, and supporters, I hope this message finds you in good spirits. As many of you know, our journey together has been filled with ups and downs, moments of strength, and times of vulnerability. Today, I want to share a personal update and a reminder of the power of living life beyond the confines of cancer. Recently, I’ve been less active in our community, including in our Facebook Group. It’s not because I’ve forgotten about our incredible community or the mission we’re all so passionate about. Instead, it’s because I’ve been busy embracing life—truly living it to the fullest. And let me tell you, it’s been an invigorating experience! And yes, that’s me on the far right in the photo. I was recently the Show Chair for the National Beagle Club of America’s 2024 National Show. Ten days in Tennessee at the show, and tons of work prior to…and after! A full-time job for a while,

Navigating conversations with someone dealing with cancer can feel like walking a tightrope in a circus—one wrong step, and you might find yourself in the lion’s den. But fear not! With a little guidance, you can become a conversational acrobat, offering support without stepping on any toes. In this post, we’ll explore some common phrases that might earn you a spot in the “oops” tent, and offer more thoughtful alternatives that will have you juggling empathy and humor like a pro. Many times, people simply don’t say anything at all, for fear of saying the wrong thing or upsetting someone. Unfortunately, cancer is the elephant in the room and ignoring it can appear that someone simply doesn’t care about what’s happening.  It’s better to say something – anything! – rather than appear unfeeling. What Not to Say “Do you still have that cancer thing?” Someone actually did ask me this! When I said “Yes” he was at a loss on

“The thyroid cancer is in room 4.” That’s how the staff indicated what room I was in during a checkup. I politely went out and said something along the lines of, “I understand HIPPA. However, I am NOT just someone with thyroid cancer. I’m so much more.” The staff apologized – but I’m sure as soon as I was gone, they reverted back to announcing who was where, based simply on their diagnosis. A Diagnosis Does Not Define Who We Are What happened in that doctor’s office isn’t unique to me—it’s a common occurrence for those navigating serious illnesses. Medical environments often streamline communication by referring to people based on their conditions: “the breast cancer in room 5,” “the diabetic patient waiting,” or “the heart failure in the ER.” (Yikes!) It may seem like a convenient shorthand for busy professionals, but this constant reduction of individuals to their diagnoses chips away at a fundamental truth: We are so much more

When someone we care about is diagnosed with cancer, it can be overwhelming to know how to help. We don’t know what to say because we don’t want to make things worse or say the wrong thing. We also want to act like things are “normal” – when they can be far from it. Often, we just say “Tell me when you need something.” From the cancer Warrior’s perspective, we often have no idea what to ask for – and we don’t want to bother others or seem like we’re whining. So, nothing gets done or said. Here are five specific ways friends, family, and co-workers can provide meaningful support during this challenging time. Organize a Food/Meal Drive One of the most practical ways to support someone with cancer is by organizing a food or meal drive. Treatment schedules can be grueling, leaving little energy for cooking. Creating a meal schedule where friends and family sign up to provide meals

Cancer is a journey that no one anticipates taking. It’s a path fraught with physical challenges, emotional upheavals, and a profound sense of isolation. Despite being surrounded by loved ones, friends, and healthcare professionals, we often feel very alone. There are several reasons for this, including our reluctance to seek support, the fear of being a burden, and the misconception that we must face this journey independently. And let’s face it – we’re scared that if we ask, we’ll be told “No” or worse, ignored. The Silent Struggle One of the most significant reasons we feel alone is our reluctance to share our struggles. Society values resilience and stoicism, leading us to believe that expressing vulnerability is complaining. This belief makes it difficult to reach out, even when the need for support is paramount. The fear of being labeled as “whining” or “complaining” can silence us, leading to self-imposed isolation. The Burden of Asking We often avoid seeking help because

When we hear the word “cancer,” we usually think of the physical battle – surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation – but what about the hidden struggles that come with it? Beyond the visible scars and hair loss lies a world of challenges that often go unnoticed. Chronic pain, fatigue, and depression are just a few of the issues that plague those battling cancer, making every day a fight on multiple fronts. Unfortunately, many of these unseen issues can go on for many years after the initial diagnosis. Because these may be long-term issues, cancer Warriors get very good at hiding them from others. They don’t want to be a burden, so they suffer in silence – often to the detriment of their physical and mental health. They get very good at pasting on a fake smile and hiding their pain. So, what are some of these issues and how can you support someone who is dealing with them?

When we hear the word “cancer,” we usually think of the physical battle – surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation – but what about the hidden struggles that come with it? Beyond the visible scars and hair loss lies a world of challenges that often go unnoticed. Chronic pain, fatigue, and depression are just a few of the issues that plague those battling cancer, making every day a fight on multiple fronts. Unfortunately, many of these unseen issues can go on for many years after the initial diagnosis. Because these may be long-term issues, cancer Warriors get very good at hiding them from others. They don’t want to be a burden, so they suffer in silence – often to the detriment of their physical and mental health. They get very good at pasting on a fake smile and hiding their pain. So, what are some of these issues and how can you support someone who is dealing with them?

Understanding Without Experience Why Empathy, Not Comparison, Matters When Supporting Those with Cancer Facing a cancer diagnosis is a profoundly personal and challenging journey that encompasses a spectrum of emotions, uncertainties, and lifestyle adjustments. Amidst this complex landscape, a well-intended yet sometimes misguided attempt at empathy arises when individuals, who haven’t experienced cancer themselves, assert, “I understand what you’re going through.” While their intentions are compassionate and they mean well, such statements unintentionally overlook the depth and intricacies of an individual’s unique experience. Worse, they can trivialize the feelings of the person on the cancer journey. The Pitfall of Comparative Empathy Empathy, a cornerstone of human connection, involves understanding and sharing another person’s feelings. However, mistaking sympathy for empathy can inadvertently diminishing the multifaceted challenges faced by individuals battling cancer. Attempting to equate experiences without having lived through the journey oneself may minimize the emotional toll, physical hardships, and significant lifestyle adjustments that come with the cancer journey. Authentic Empathy:

The Overwhelming Burden of Dealing with Cancer A Personal Reflection Cancer, an uninvited guest in life’s journey, often brings with it an immense weight, both physically and emotionally. As someone who has navigated the challenging terrain of this illness, there are moments when the exhaustion, frustration, and sheer weariness of dealing with everything that comes with cancer become overwhelming. From the initial diagnosis, the whirlwind of emotions that ensue can be consuming. Shock, fear, and uncertainty permeate every aspect of life. Suddenly, one is thrust into a world of medical terminologies, treatment options, and life-altering decisions. The relentless cycle of hospital visits, treatments, and the ever-looming prospect of the unknown takes an enormous toll. The physical toll of cancer treatment is undeniable. Enduring the side effects of medications, the fatigue that seems to seep into bones, hair loss, and the fluctuations in weight are just a few of the many challenges that cancer patients face. It’s a relentless battle that